10Publishing
Expectant families are often encouraged to prepare their homes, nurseries, and freezers for the demands of a newborn. Parents, it seems, are not ready until every baby gear, diaper, and frozen dinner is in place. Sarah Dargue wants to add something—not to the end of our baby prep lists but—to our hearts. Sarah’s book, Bumps, Babies, and the Gospel takes readers through the book of Colossians. She invites growing families to gaze in awe at Christ (the firstborn of creation) and to meet parenthood with the sure hope of his gospel. Her book helps to provide the heart-level preparation mommies and daddies need!
Please join me as I chat with Sarah Dargue about preparing our hearts for the gift of new children.
Nana Dolce: Sarah, thank you so much for your time today. I’m excited to know you better. Would you mind sharing a bit about yourself? Who are you? Where do you live? What do you do?
Sarah Dargue: Thank you so much for inviting me! I’m Sarah, I’m married to David and we have three little people: Toby who’s 5, and Emily and Sam who have just turned 4. We have the privilege of living in the North East of England—one of the most beautiful parts of the country we think, even if it is a little cold sometimes! My husband is one of the pastors at our church here in Newcastle and it is a real joy to spend most of my time either with our children, coming alongside our church family or seeking to continually grow relationships in our area—as we live and speak for Christ here. My happy place is being creative—whether that’s with our children, or teaching others, making things, or more recently discovering writing as a means of creative expression, particularly through the most intense season of parenting little ones, when getting out the paint palette or sewing machine felt like too much at the end of the day!
ND: Thank you, Sarah! You write this in Bumps, Babies, and the Gospel: “Dwelling on Christ and his gospel is the prenatal class above all others: it’s the prenatal class for our heart.” What do you mean by this idea of a “prenatal class for the heart?” How does your book help to provide this? How does it serve its readers?
SD: I’m not sure what it’s like in the U.S. but over here, the antenatal class is pretty much an indelible part of your journey as an expectant parent. Run either at the hospital by local midwives, or run privately, the antenatal class is where you go to meet others, to glean any wisdom on this untraveled road, and the hope is of course that it will prepare you for parenting. There are lots to gain from these courses; and yet I’ve generally observed that as Christians we are quick to prioritise all the world has to offer as we prepare for having a baby, without properly considering first how the all-sufficient word of God could actually help! It may not be said so starkly but I wonder whether it's too easy to put our faith in Christ into a separate box, one that’s definitely there, but maybe ever so slightly on the periphery —after all what does the Bible have to say about naps, premature labour and the merits of breast or bottle? So essentially what I’ve written seeks to gently challenge this way of thinking! And that, rather than time in God’s word being a nice add-on, in the midst of all the preparation, actually dwelling on Christ is at the heart of our preparation, because, in line with the Bible’s emphasis, what we most need to prepare for parenting, is to prepare our own hearts. So it’s a book addressing your heart. It’s a book to be read by couples, in the hope that your pregnancy is a precious time of asking the Lord to prepare your heart, as much as your body and mind, for the momentous changes ahead.
ND: Sarah, of the 66 books of Scripture, what made you choose Colossians as the mirror through which expectant and new parents can behold Christ and examine their hearts?
SD: That’s a great question! Firstly, whilst all of scripture is helpful for us, I found the context of the Colossian Christians particularly striking: Paul is writing to brothers and sisters who are tempted in a number of different ways to live as “Jesus-plus” Christians. In other words, whilst Jesus is brilliant, he never seems to be quite enough for them. When we look at our context, either as new parents or as seasoned ones, it’s not hard to see the parallels! It is a daily challenge to see our own hearts and recognise that Jesus really is all that we need. Paul paints the most astonishing picture of Christ at the beginning of his letter, which is truly foundational for how we view our parenting, as it lays out how sufficient he really is! The rest of the letter really helpfully unpacks life in light of these truths for us, which is helpful as we prepare our own hearts and journeys for parenting. Secondly, I’m a massive fan of dwelling deeply on one book of scripture and letting it’s message affect our hearts deeply so that we hear it’s truths in more applied ways. I’ve noticed that many parenting books seem to dip in and out of different books of the Bible, giving really helpful overviews. I’ve aimed to do the opposite here—to zoom in on one book, in the hope that parents will feel confident enough to open the book of Colossians in their new season and see how the letter really does apply to their situation, whatever it looks like.
ND: Indeed, your book helps expectant and new parents to gaze in awe at “the firstborn of creation.” You remind us that Christ himself is the goal of creation in that “all things have been created through him and for him” (Colossians 1:16). Why is this particular truth needed at the start of one’s parenting journey? And how can we continue to remember it along the way?
SD: It’s such a gear shift looking after a newborn: most likely, for the first time in your life, every hour, night and day, is geared to serving a tiny and yet very demanding human! It’s essential therefore to have the right view of this new all-consuming reality—that actually, however demanding, beautiful and awe-inspiring your baby is, your lives don’t revolve around them, but around Christ, who not only created them but also sustains their every heartbeat. I think this truth is not only essential for our view of parenting—when we’re tempted to pride or despair—but also it’s just so wonderfully liberating: We are not in control, Christ is. Phew! I find the simple phrase that Paul uses, describing Christ as the firstborn over all of creation so helpful, as we seek to remember these big truths. It’s like a reminder that pops up on your phone—every time you look at your new baby, you can remind yourself that there is a firstborn whom you and your baby have been created for. There is a firstborn who deserves all the glory. There is a firstborn who wonderfully holds not only your baby's heart in his hands, but also your wavering emotions, your rubbish days, and your fears, hopes and dreams for the future. Hooray for Jesus!
ND: New mommas (and seasoned moms alike) are threatened by various parenting philosophies that seek to enslave our hearts. Sarah, how does God’s word pull our hearts toward Christ and away from tempting, hollow, and deceptive philosophies?
SD: I think very simply by exposing our hearts, showing us our sin and leading us to the cross day by day. What Paul’s letter to the Colossians highlights very clearly is that it's not just that there may be threats to our hearts. It’s that there will be. He uses strong language—his warnings are real. So what I’ve simply tried to do in the book is extend Paul’s language to the parenting philosophies that can so easily captivate our hearts, in the hope that a new parent will stop in their tracks as they see their heart threatened by the ‘Am I measuring up?’ Or ‘1 Click’ philosophies and run to the cross quicker. It’s as we name the threats, and name the sin in our hearts, that deception and temptation lose their power—because compared to the startling vision of Christ, they hold nothing on us. The cross assures us of that. But this is the battleground of our hearts and we need to be reminded of these truths day in and day out!
ND: I remember my early weeks and months with a newborn baby. I feared the approach of the night, knowing that it would bring hours of sleeplessness and work. My body was exhausted, my mind was anxious, and I was an easy target for hasty sins. Sarah, what comfort and hope can scripture offer to a worn-out mom, struggling to trust God with her new child and her heart?
SD: The particular comfort and hope offered in Colossians are, I hope, one of immense encouragement to the worn-out mom: Fix your eyes on Christ and you’ll discover that He really is all you need. In those lonely hours of the night, know that Christ is watching over you. In those exhausting sleep battles, know that Christ sees your heart and hears your weeping prayers. In the joy of a first smile, know that Christ smiles over you in your new role as a parent. In the sheer exhaustion and monotony that accompany those first few months, know that Christ is using these ordinary moments for immense gospel growth in your heart, to shape you and mould you to be more like him. Parenting is hard. Fact. But as Paul calls us to live in light of the cross, dying to self and living for Christ, it frees us to say wholeheartedly that it’s ok to find it hard. Of course it is, I’m giving all of myself so that another can live. Parenting is a wonderful illustration of the costly gospel! But as we obey the call to serve with a thankful heart, grounded at the foot of the cross each day, we are assured that this is where we will give Christ the glory, because it’s what he’s already done for us. (By the way, in case anyone thinks I’m superhuman on this, I think it’s worth saying that in those sleepless moments, I like you have many times been at my wit’s end! But if we have grounded our hearts in the gospel in the months leading up to these moments, I have no doubt that God will then use scripture itself to encourage our hearts in those moments and help us to see what it looks like to trust God minute by minute, day by day.)
ND: Sarah, as we close our conversation, can I ask you how the Lord has used the writing of this book as a means of sanctification in your own heart? And what is your prayer for the parents who will be reading your words?
SD: Thank you—this whole process has been pretty brutal on my own heart! I guess in writing a book about the heart, it’s a given that my own heart has been front and centre in feeling the weight of challenge, and the assurance of grace, as I’ve looked back over the years, and also just working through application in the present too. I am so thankful for the opportunity I’ve had to dwell in Colossians for months, and therefore to continually be challenged myself on what it looks like to look to Christ as I parent. I think it’s also worth saying that even 18 months ago I could never have imagined I would be able to write a book about this stage of parenting. I struggled with PTSD for years after the birth of our first son, and to be honest, it feels pretty surreal that I’ve written a book on the early months of parenting. It’s been a big journey for me and my heart. But one where I’ve seen tangible gospel growth in my heart as the Lord has worked through his powerful word. And I hope that means that it will somehow encourage others too! My prayer for everyone who reads it is quite simply that it will encourage their hearts to keep looking to Christ, whatever the next few months may hold. It really is the most extraordinary season of unknowns, heightened emotions and learning curves—but one that we can wonderfully come to Christ with, depending on Him for what lies ahead.
Sarah Dargue is a wife to David, and mum to three little children, living in the North East of England. Her book—Bumps, Babies and the Gospel—can be found at Amazon and 10ofthose.com.