I love my children easily and naturally and of course there is nothing wrong with that. But I also have a heart that is desperately idolatrous and prone to leave the God I love. Whenever I place my full satisfaction in something created, whenever I wholly delight my mind in something made, whenever I wrap my value and identity in someone or something apart from Christ, I have molded an idol. And sadly, these self-made gods are easily made; evidence of the residual effects of sin that dwell even in the justified heart (Romans 7:14-25).
God's Grace to a Pharisee like Me
I would have been a good monk and a great Pharisee. I like rules. I like order. I like disciplining myself, especially if it brings the commendation of others, particularly those in authority. This inclination is constant and often reveals itself in self-judgment. I can be hard on myself—all the while justifying my strict tendencies as a desire for progressive sanctification. But even godly pursuits can be perverted if not seen in light of the gospel.
Parental Failures and the Gospel
I often feel inadequate as a parent and I thank God for it! For it drives me to lower my head, bend my knees and seek His perfect strength in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). The blessing is not in the weakness or inadequacy itself but in the humility it offers that draws me nearer to God for help--which then increases my dependence and confidence in the One who works in me, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). Praise be to God from whom all blessings flow!